I got this in an email recently just wanted to pass it on.
These fit so well they should be in a dictionary.
ADULT:A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR:A place where women curl up and dye.
CHICKENS:The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE:A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST:Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST:Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
INFLATION:Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO:An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN:Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET:Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON:A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW:One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN:An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES:Something other people have, similar to my character lines.